Kings Gameday: An Elucidation on the Proper Application of Profanity in Hockey
Los Angeles Kings vs. San Jose Sharks 6:00 PST, FSN West & Bay Area As you all know by now, I love cursing. It makes me look cool and people are often intimidated by me because of it. If cursing were a woman I would take it out for a dinner and a movie and then park 20 miles out of town and demand sex in return for a ride back to town. Some people don't like cursing, however, and feel that it's pointless and only done in a desperate attempt to make the offending person look cool. To quote Spicoli: "Those dudes are fags!" But I guess I do see their point; a lot of people simply use curse words interchangeably. There will be "assholes" where there should be "douche bags" and "fucks" where there should be "shits." In order to clear up any confusion and to improve communication in today's society, I've created an extensive but by no means comprehensive list of terms to use when describing hockey players. Hopeful...