Sleeksays

I've been an independent observer of this whole Dustin Penner fiasco , and like M*A*S*H* or a penis, it just gets better the longer it goes. To recap: The Oilers sign Dustin Penner to a 5-year, $21.25 million dollar deal after his astounding 43-point season playing alongside 2 scrubs named Ryan Getzly and Chris Perry or something like that. Who cares, they've never done anything anyway. There was much gnashing of the teeth from bloviating jackass Brian Burke, who criticized Lowe for ruining both teams; this was followed by a lot of back-and-forth between the outmatched Anaheim blogging contingent and the Edmonton juggernaut. But, in the end, Brian Burke was right: the Dustin Penner offer sheet not only left Edmonton with an overpaid, unmotivated baby, but also screwed the Ducks over when they had an opportunity to win a 2nd cup. To that I say, "Huzzah!" The problem with the Edmonton offer sheet from their perspective was that they were not in the position to of...

Edmonton Oilers (1-0-0) at Anaheim Ducks (3 opportunities for improvement!) There's no choice except better results, right? What I was originally going to write about. Look, I know the Ducks have been horrible lately, but I've caught onto a pattern. For game one, I wrote about how scared I was about Jonathan Goddamn Cheechoo , and he killed us. For game two, I wrote nothing, and that didn't help. For game three, I wrote about a pattern of 1-goal deficits turning into 3-goal deficits , and the Ducks watched their deficit grow like clockwork. My problem? I'm way too psychic. And I've been focusing entirely too much on the negative. Tonight? In the spirit of "the first 3 games are irrelevant in the scheme of an 82-game schedule", I'm instead imagining some good results. Is this the game where the Ducks get goals from their actual goal-scorers * ? Is this the game where the Ducks enter the penalty box at a slightly lesser rate ** ? Is this the game wher...