Sleeksays

The Kings played two games this weekend and scored 1 goal. That sucks. I know the Kings are better this season with this new "defense" thing (some people spell it with a "c," I don't know why) but holy Christ is it boring. Say what you want about last year, but at least the Kings were scoring some fucking goals, man. Can't I just see Kopitar say fuck it and spend the whole game in front of his own blue line? Just once? And I know I keep saying it, but the Kings' bottom 6 is completely fucked. I don't know what the hell is going on with those guys but the 3rd line is posting the following Times on Ice: Ivanans (3:36) -Handzus (16:36) -Simmonds (8:53) Handzus is playing good minutes but they're kind of scattered and I doubt he really knows when he's getting used next. And if Ivanans is only going to play 4 minutes, why not just sit him? His playing time is as annoying as that chick who keeps bothering me.* The Kings are calling up Jo...

Hockey My list is a little bit different from PJ's because I didn't necessarily try to pick songs that I think would sound good in an arena. I mostly picked songs that I really like and seem to symbolize what hockey is to me. I have a CD I listen to on my way to the rink every time that's pretty much all loud, fast and angry music. I've always believed that hockey is an angry sport and when I drive to the rink I think about how much I hate everyone on the other team. I think about their temerity in even getting on the same field of play as me and how they actually think they're good enough to get a puck past me. By the time I get to the rink I'm ready to fight. Then I get to the rink and put on my pads and by the time I'm all warmed up I'm pretty calm and ready to go. But the music helps me get ready to play. A few explanations: Trogdor, by Strong Bad- Like my brother mentioned yesterday, the Kings should play "Trogdor" every time Ivanan...

I was talking to my brother yesterday and we were in agreement that if the Kings could somehow combine Erik Ersberg and Jason Labarbera, they'd have the perfect goaltender (basically, Roberto Luongo) . We then decided that if they somehow grew a child in a lab from their genes, he'd grow up to be: ...the dude from Idle Hands and She's All That . (He was also Fulton from Mighty Ducks.) I have a gift for placing faces, what can I say. My brother also has a similar gift (and a similarly small penis) and pointed out that Edmonton's new goaltender looks exactly like Evgeni Malkin: Also, and this is completely unrelated, but what the hell is Twilight ? I went and saw Role Models this weekend and they had a trailer for this emo vampire movie; I sat there with a confused expression on my face for about 30 seconds and then muttered, "What the fuck is this shit?" Teenagers are retarded.

LA Kings (3-6-2) vs. Florida Panthers (4-6-1) 7:30 PST, Fox Sports West In the war for Southern California, we all know who is good and who is evil: the Kings are good, and the Ducks are evil. Not like really evil or anything, more like Saturday morning cartoon evil.* Recently, the Ducks trio of terror (Corey Perry, Teemu Selanne, and Ryan Getzlaf) were all mired in slumps, probably brought on by all the sand in their vaginas. The Kings' good players (Kopitar, O'Sullivan, Frolov and Brown) , meanwhile, were continuing being their wonderful selves, picking up about a point a game. The dichotomy was best shown in the Kings' 6-3 win over the Ducks, where the courageous Kings combined for 6 points to the Ducks' 1. *Teemu is Shredder, Ryan Getzlaf & Corey Perry are Bebop & Rocksteady. I guess that means Kopitar is Leonardo, Brown is Michaelangelo, O'Sullivan is Rafael and Frolov is obviously Donatello. Oh, and I get to be Usagi Yojimbo! Earl Sleek (arti...