Sleeksays

WOW. Someone just played Panic's entrance music. If things looked bad for the Stars just a few days ago, now the team is pondering meteor shower insurance. Rudy posted the news but if you have anti-scroll disease, Brenden Morrow is out for the season. The Stars are effectively "fixed." As in they've been de-balled. With Marty Turco having a mini-meltdown and Brad Richards giving weepy interviews in emo shirts, trading away Jussi Jokinen and Mike Smith is looking closer to Bochenski for Versteeg these days. Honestly , Richards had enough positive moments in the playoffs that he gained a ... sort of flattering nickname in the "Five Dollar Shake." No Pulp Fiction jokes for him now, though. Although perhaps a "do I LOOK like a bitch?" might work. So, with chicken little getting on the first trip to DFW Airport, I thought it might be fun to look at the different ways this mess can shake out: 1. The put-your-head-between-your-legs-and-pray approa...

You know, I've been predicted every season for the past 6 seasons that the Stars were going to falter, and every season they've made me look like a jackass. This season I finally don't predict a letdown and this looks like the season they finally falter . Just thought you'd like to know how this is affecting me personally.

The Dallas Stars are stumbling worse than a fat chick after 15 tequila shots. Seriously, tonight's loss to the Chicago Blackhawks (6-3) was ugly. The lowlight was Kris Versteeg 's goal on Turco, in which the Stars made the talented rookie look like the second coming of ... well, Jonathan Toews . (My internet connection has been Turco-like in its consistency, but I'll keep an eye out for Versteeg's goal. Link it in the comments/edit this post if you find it before me.) It's easy to blame everything on Turco, but it's obvious that this isn't all his fault. Honestly, it's really hard to pin the tail on this blame donkey.* Could it be that, after being unappreciated and hard working for all these years, the Stars relaxed once it started to believe its press clippings? Did Turco morph into Dan Cloutier ? Can they find a way to blame Sean Avery ? * - Ever wondered what it looks like to die in print? Wonder no longer ... ANYWAY, it's getting harder and hard...

In case you didn't hear the news already, the Dallas Stars traded oft-injured defenseman Phillippe Boucher for plays-like-he's-injured Daryl Sydor . For the Penguins, they get a player who either is damaged goods or a short term boost to their power play. If nothing else, Boucher might be a helpful stop gap while Sergei Gonchar and Ryan Whitney rehab their extensive injuries. It's harder to see the benefit for the Stars. Sydor was a healthy scratch much of his time with the Penguins and he's making the same money ($2.5 million) as Boucher so it's not getting any cash off the books. Clearly, this is Brett Hull 's version of Kevin Smith bringing back his buddies when they normally would just drift through the streets of New Jersey. Realistically speaking, it's a brush with nostalgia. Then again, maybe it was more of a statement to the old and mid guard in Dallas: get your shit together or you'll get traded. Brad Richards and Brendan Morrow looked borde...

LA Kings (6-6-2, 4th in Pacific) @ Dallas Stars (5-7-3, Dead Last in Pacific) 5:30 PST, Fox Sports West Raitis Ivanans can not skate a regular shift in the NHL. I'm sorry, he just can't. It breaks my heart, because I love the lumbering Latvian, but he plays like dog piss tastes. (No, not delicious, terrible and slightly acidic.) Since the Kings began skating Raitis on their "third" line, that line has not recorded a point. Not a one. Ivanans is like the anti-Thornton, he sucks all the talent out of his linemates. " I just want to see the inside of your skull." Basically, the Kings are rolling two good 4th lines instead of one good 3rd. There's Ivanans-Handzus-Simmonds and O'Sullivan-Boyle-Harrold, one of whom is okay defensively but can't score while the other can do both but is just kind of... weird. Meanwhile, the Kopitar line and the Frolov line are left fending for themselves on both offense and defense. Terry Murray claims the K...

Brown doesn't knock Robidas over the boards, he knocks him above the boards. That's one of the better board shots you're going to see. Brown got a 5-minute boarding major for this one. Like I pointed out during the off-season, Brown hardly ever gets penalties as a result of his hits and I don't really think this should have been 5 minutes. At the same time, however, Brown hit a guy on the numbers and his face hit the boards, so it's definitely boarding. It was mostly an accident and a result of Ribeiro flinching away from contact, but I wouldn't be too surprised if Brown got a one-game suspension out of it. Morrow got a penalty for instigation and is supposed to get a one-game suspension and a fine, but I assume the league will rescind it after considering the score and the situation. Ribeiro had a really nice shootout goal and followed it up with pointless showboating, first putting his hand to his pouty lips to silence the crowd and then skating by the K...

LA Kings vs. Dallas Stars 7:30 PST, Fox Sports Prime Ticket, Yahoo! Marty Turco, ladies and gentlemen. Do you guys remember when Patrick Marleau scored on his own net in overtime against the Sharks? I think he tried to stickhandle it and ended up shooting it right in. I was at the game in Anaheim and when Marleau scored I looked over at Meg and he had his head in his hands. It was hilarious. *** Icethetics (which I imagine is Sean Avery's favorite blog) has a new picture of the Kings' third jersey logo. Meh, we'll see how it looks on the jersey. At least it doesn't have purple. *** Sean Avery is a douche bag . Seriously, I can forgive a lot of things, but being bad teammate to a young player isn't one of them. I would hope Brown would crush Avery tonight but the reality is that Avery probably wouldn't have the puck long enough to get hit. I'm sure he'll goad Gauthier or someone like that into a fight and mask the fact that he took 2 bad penalti...

Yesterday, I joked with Earl Sleek that tonight's Sharks/Stars game seemed like the perfect storm for the Sharks to get their first loss at home. After all, Evgeni Nabokov is out, Sergei Zubov is in, the Stars have been trying to figure out something to inspire them to a win (signing Mark Parrish, obviously, is the key), and it's a big Saturday-night tilt between conference rivals. Seems like just the type of situation that used to drive Sharks fans nuts. The team probably had a 30/70 percentage split of meeting the challenge of an occasion last season versus appearing listless and confused. Now? Maybe the NHL's scheduling staff is on the team's side. First Detroit comes to the Golden State to face Anaheim, then less than 24 hours later, skates out on HP Pavilion ice. Now the Stars have to do the same thing. Instead of using my "Oh crap!" negative thinking that still lingers from the Ron Wilson era, I'm going to look on the brighter side of things (don...

It could be. First, Fabian Brunnstrom began his NHL career with a hat trick (and a Stars win) then Mark Parrish resumed his NHL career with a hat trick (and a Stars win). The Stars' strange season keeps getting stranger. Then again, Sergei Zubov and Jere Lehtinen should make their season debuts soon (hopefully) so maybe this year will start making some sense. You'd hate to see Mike Modano resort to finding an off-ice job before it's all said and done ...

Dallas Stars (4-6-2, t-12th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (9-5-1, 2nd in west) Can the Stars re-discover the success they left here last spring? I can't really tell you what's going wrong with the Dallas Stars this season, as I have yet to even watch a single game. Still, the spreadsheets will tell you, you don't have to look much past the 50 goals allowed in just 12 games. To put that in perspective, the Philadelphia Flyers currently lead the league in goal-scoring at 3.67 goals-per-game (excludes shootouts) . The Stars are giving up goals at a rate of 4.17 goals-per-game, half a goal higher than any team can manage offensively. There's probably plenty of culprits -- Avery and Brunnstrom not adequately replacing Hagman and Miettinen, the absence of Sergei Zubov (who I think returns to the team tonight , along with Mark Parrish) , and of course the guy between the pipes. Marty Turkey. 4.34 GAA, .837 Sv%. Still, it's still a young season, and it's certainly possib...

Not pictured: beach ball It's been a rough start to the season for the Dallas Stars and no one is feeling the brunt more than Marty Turco . Many thought that this would be a big year for Turco considering the departure of more than capable backup turned beleaguered starter Mike Smith and the exorcising of many a playoff demon. That has not been the case, so the Stars are calling in Andy Moog to try to work out the kinks. And the kinks, well ... they've been kinky.* *Kill me. Don't think about it, just murder me. In nine games, Turco managed three wins and six loses (four in regulation). He's had a save percentage of 90 percent twice with one other game over 85 percent. He had three games in the low-80s and three disastrous games in which his save percentage was in the 70s. So, looking inside the numbers 2/3 of Turco's starts would have really pissed off John Tortorella with a couple fitting in the ex-Lightning coach's disdainful 75% club. The season is young,...

It's been an eventful month for Avery the unsavory . It started out with Avery's bizarre but absorbing interview with ESPN tart Rachel Nichols where the super-pest hilariously criticized the NHL's marketing (or lack thereof) and spoke of his troubled youth (dominated by stealing dolls from his babysitters and other telltale sign of latent child self-abuse). Next came Avery's somewhat anti-climactic return to Madison Square Garden. Despite receiving a heavy dose of boos, it was really just another day at the office for Avery as he pestered the Rangers and the Stars won because of Mike Modano 's GWG. Still, Avery might need riot gear tonight as he pays visit to his nemesis Martin Brodeur and the New Jersey Devils. You may remember Avery's windshield-wiper maneuver from last year's playoffs - it was such a diabolical move that they often-listless powers that be in the NHL immediately passed "The Avery Rule." (That became the name of one of my fantas...

Anaheim Ducks (0-2-0, last in west) at Los Angeles Kings (0-2-0, last in west) Battle of the Basement Sorry I've been a bit invisible the last couple of days; I've been steering clear of the blog, mainly because of the frustrating play of the Anaheim Ducks. It's not just that they're 0-2 that bothers me (only once in franchise history have the Ducks started 2-0) , but it's the manner in which games are being lost that really sucks. It's a pattern that dates back to the Dallas series last spring, and I've put a table together that lists the last seven times an opponent has broken a tie against the Ducks. All seven times the Ducks also allowed the next goal for a 2-goal deficit, and in six of seven times the lead was extended to 3 goals, on average less than 20 minutes later. Game Time Elapsed Until Deficit Extends to 2 Time Elapsed Until Deficit Extends to 3 G1 v DAL 6:09 12:33 G2 v DAL 15:00 G2 v DAL 0:55 8:49 G4 @ DAL 32:22 40:38 G6 @ DAL 15:32 17:46 G1 ...

Breaking out the 'ol Sleek "Robo-das" photoshop one more time Even after the lockout, it�s nice to be reminded that comebacks are completely possible in hockey. The Stars were down 4-2 in the third period after some really sloppy turnovers and it looked like Dallas turned to heartbreak city. In a matter of minutes, the game was tied 4-4 and the American Airlines Center was rocking. Of course, the Columbus Blue Jackets ended up winning in OT after a beautiful wrist shot goal by Rick Nash . It was a really rough, sometimes sloppy game and the Stars should be happy they got a point from this one. Instead of Fabian Brunnstrom , the new guy to watch might be James Neal . Neal scored a goal in the second period and played a solid 16 minutes tonight. The most interesting stat line of the night might belong to Stephane Robidas , who might continue the momentum from a postseason that inspired Earl Sleek to nickname him �Robo-das.� He managed to register ...

We'll probably get a taste of Brunnstrom tonight The Sean Avery era begins in the athletically troubled state of Ohio Dallas at 8:30 ET/5:30 Pacific. The main storyline is the Stars' future versus a ghost of the Stars' past. Ken Hitchcock 's Blue Jackets had quite the revolving door this off-season. They lost enigmatic Russian Nik Zherdev , perpetual project Gilbert Brule (a Golbez favorite if I remember properly) and fairly-nondescript-before-free-agency Ron Hainsey . In their place, Columbus brought in Flyers playoff sensation R.J. Umberger , the flighty Kristian Huselius, overpaid ginger Mike Commodore and premiere douche Raffi Torres . The BJs look like they'll show the scoring ability of a Klan member at a "Soul Train" after-party. For the Stars, we'll get our first glimpse of a guy who had quite the 15-minutes of Wine and Dine fame , Fabian Brunnstrom. Hopefully Brunnstrom will ease the pain caused by the departure of the Stars' interc...

Edit/Update: What has long been rumored is true: I'm an idiot. Sorry, Linda. I love your accent. Hope that we can work through this. ESPN came out with their "expert" picks today (Linda Cohn ... an NHL expert? Huh?). Three out of 6 experts chose a BoC team to win the Stanley Cup and two of them predicted it would be the Dallas Stars (the other BoC team expected to win the Cup was media darling of yore, San Jose). The Stars were the pick of two of the more respectable ESPN.com NHL writers Scott Burnside and David Amber (although Burnside picked Brian Campbell to win the Norris ... come on Burnside, you're better than that!). Pierre LeBrun, ESPN.com's blogger* picked the Sharks to raise the Cup. (Linda Cohn picked the New York Rangers. Sources could not confirm if the pick was made based on bright colors.) Most notably, five out of six "experts" picked Dallas to win the Pacific with only LeBrun taking the Sharks. Interesting. * Am I the only person a ...

That's the question heading into this season. It's reasonable to say that 4/5 Pacific teams could win it (sorry Kings, but enjoy your complimentary fruit basket!). With that in mind, let's take a quick look at the three big dogs and the sweaty dark horse in the sun. Naturally, leave your predictions and dissenting opinions in the comments. San Jose Sharks Most years, these media darlings are the team to beat on paper. This year? You get the feeling that people are starting to sour on the Teal force. It's crazy just how much this team changed in the last couple years. There's still some solid youth on the team, but the parallels to those "fuck the future I want it now" Colorado Avalanche teams are pretty damning. (They even have Rob Blake ) Still, that team did win two Cups before they devolved into a glorified vehicle for the annual Peter Forsberg saga. 10 of his 14 goals last year were game winners ... seriously. The thing that makes this team so diffic...