Sleeksays

LAST BOC / CLS DOUBLE POST FOR A WHILE, REALLY! This Sean Avery story sure has legs, doesn't it? Before this it seemed like the only time the NHL was the top story was if Todd Bertuzzi broke someone's neck (although hockey being a lead story only when something bad happens still rings true). On Wednesday, the Avery coverage just wrecked every other big story. It was: The lead story on "Rome is Burning." No. 4 on ESPN's insufferable "Around the Horn." The first topic during "Pardon the Interruption." Among others ... Is it a slow sports day or is everyone just tired of talking about how much of a dumbass Plaxico Burress can be? (And where the hell does the name Plaxico come from? I guess I'd have a bad attitude too if my name was a combination of a plaque-killing mouthwash and Mexico) ANYWAY, since this story is quickly getting beaten into the ground, why don't we have some more fun with it? With that in mind, the NHL should take adva...

Anaheim Ducks (14-9-3, 3rd in west) at Chicago Blackhawks (10-6-6, t-7th in west) How much will this post cost me in karma dollars? Instead of talking up this Chicago rematch, I'm going to throw my two rambly cents in on the Avery suspension. I don't like it. Now don't get me wrong; there's a lot to dislike about Avery, including this recent set of inflammatory remarks, but you have to recognize Avery for what he is -- a sensationalist media creation. Over the years, reporters have glorified his personality and encouraged his bad boy behavior (which I can understand -- NHLers are generally too boring for newsstands) . And that's the thing -- I do believe Avery's statements were intended more to feed the hungry media than they were to hurt Dion Phaneuf / Elisha Cuthbert's feelings. He was doing what he was expected to do -- agitate and entertain -- and more or less in the manner that he was trained to do. It wasn't out of line with the media character...

Sloppy seconds? Seriously? The NHL's collective feathers are ruffled over this ? That being said, reactions from Marty Turco, Mike Modano, Brad Richards and Mike Ribeiro do show that this Sean Avery experiment isn't exactly going well. We're only in December and the team is already clearly tired of hearing about Avery (and his gorgeous, cleft-chinned ex-gfs). Obviously, Avery needs father figures and/or players who obviously wear the pants so he'll tow the line. In Detroit, he was just some annoying gnat of an undrafted free agent in a locker room full of larger than life personalities. After that, he's been in big markets where hockey isn't exactly the main event (LA, New York and Dallas) so he could cultivate his bad boy image without the necessary "But he's actually not all that productive" backlash. It keeps feeding that gluttonous Avery ego and don't expect it to stop anytime soon.

WOW. Someone just played Panic's entrance music. If things looked bad for the Stars just a few days ago, now the team is pondering meteor shower insurance. Rudy posted the news but if you have anti-scroll disease, Brenden Morrow is out for the season. The Stars are effectively "fixed." As in they've been de-balled. With Marty Turco having a mini-meltdown and Brad Richards giving weepy interviews in emo shirts, trading away Jussi Jokinen and Mike Smith is looking closer to Bochenski for Versteeg these days. Honestly , Richards had enough positive moments in the playoffs that he gained a ... sort of flattering nickname in the "Five Dollar Shake." No Pulp Fiction jokes for him now, though. Although perhaps a "do I LOOK like a bitch?" might work. So, with chicken little getting on the first trip to DFW Airport, I thought it might be fun to look at the different ways this mess can shake out: 1. The put-your-head-between-your-legs-and-pray approa...

The Dallas Stars are stumbling worse than a fat chick after 15 tequila shots. Seriously, tonight's loss to the Chicago Blackhawks (6-3) was ugly. The lowlight was Kris Versteeg 's goal on Turco, in which the Stars made the talented rookie look like the second coming of ... well, Jonathan Toews . (My internet connection has been Turco-like in its consistency, but I'll keep an eye out for Versteeg's goal. Link it in the comments/edit this post if you find it before me.) It's easy to blame everything on Turco, but it's obvious that this isn't all his fault. Honestly, it's really hard to pin the tail on this blame donkey.* Could it be that, after being unappreciated and hard working for all these years, the Stars relaxed once it started to believe its press clippings? Did Turco morph into Dan Cloutier ? Can they find a way to blame Sean Avery ? * - Ever wondered what it looks like to die in print? Wonder no longer ... ANYWAY, it's getting harder and hard...

LA Kings vs. Dallas Stars 7:30 PST, Fox Sports Prime Ticket, Yahoo! Marty Turco, ladies and gentlemen. Do you guys remember when Patrick Marleau scored on his own net in overtime against the Sharks? I think he tried to stickhandle it and ended up shooting it right in. I was at the game in Anaheim and when Marleau scored I looked over at Meg and he had his head in his hands. It was hilarious. *** Icethetics (which I imagine is Sean Avery's favorite blog) has a new picture of the Kings' third jersey logo. Meh, we'll see how it looks on the jersey. At least it doesn't have purple. *** Sean Avery is a douche bag . Seriously, I can forgive a lot of things, but being bad teammate to a young player isn't one of them. I would hope Brown would crush Avery tonight but the reality is that Avery probably wouldn't have the puck long enough to get hit. I'm sure he'll goad Gauthier or someone like that into a fight and mask the fact that he took 2 bad penalti...

It's been an eventful month for Avery the unsavory . It started out with Avery's bizarre but absorbing interview with ESPN tart Rachel Nichols where the super-pest hilariously criticized the NHL's marketing (or lack thereof) and spoke of his troubled youth (dominated by stealing dolls from his babysitters and other telltale sign of latent child self-abuse). Next came Avery's somewhat anti-climactic return to Madison Square Garden. Despite receiving a heavy dose of boos, it was really just another day at the office for Avery as he pestered the Rangers and the Stars won because of Mike Modano 's GWG. Still, Avery might need riot gear tonight as he pays visit to his nemesis Martin Brodeur and the New Jersey Devils. You may remember Avery's windshield-wiper maneuver from last year's playoffs - it was such a diabolical move that they often-listless powers that be in the NHL immediately passed "The Avery Rule." (That became the name of one of my fantas...

We'll probably get a taste of Brunnstrom tonight The Sean Avery era begins in the athletically troubled state of Ohio Dallas at 8:30 ET/5:30 Pacific. The main storyline is the Stars' future versus a ghost of the Stars' past. Ken Hitchcock 's Blue Jackets had quite the revolving door this off-season. They lost enigmatic Russian Nik Zherdev , perpetual project Gilbert Brule (a Golbez favorite if I remember properly) and fairly-nondescript-before-free-agency Ron Hainsey . In their place, Columbus brought in Flyers playoff sensation R.J. Umberger , the flighty Kristian Huselius, overpaid ginger Mike Commodore and premiere douche Raffi Torres . The BJs look like they'll show the scoring ability of a Klan member at a "Soul Train" after-party. For the Stars, we'll get our first glimpse of a guy who had quite the 15-minutes of Wine and Dine fame , Fabian Brunnstrom. Hopefully Brunnstrom will ease the pain caused by the departure of the Stars' interc...