Sleeksays

LA Kings (10-11-4) vs. Columbus Blue Jackets (11-11-3) 7:30 PST, Fox Sports West The Kings' power play feels shitty right now. The numbers don't really back me up (the Kings are about where they were last year, around 17th) but I don't know, I'm still not a fan. There's something vaguely unlikable about it; if the Kings' power play were an actor, they'd be Cole Hauser.* I think the problem I have with it is that it relies way too heavily on the Kings' forwards to move the action. When the Kings get the puck in the opposing zone, they end up passing it back and forth between the forwards while the defensemen just kind of stand there. There's no movement, there's no position-switching to confuse the defense. You kind of kill the man advantage when you allow the defense to stand still. What the Kings need is a small, nimble puck mover, one that can get involved in the play. Maybe pair him with a big, aging asshole with a booming shot. That would...

I was talking to my brother yesterday and we were in agreement that if the Kings could somehow combine Erik Ersberg and Jason Labarbera, they'd have the perfect goaltender (basically, Roberto Luongo) . We then decided that if they somehow grew a child in a lab from their genes, he'd grow up to be: ...the dude from Idle Hands and She's All That . (He was also Fulton from Mighty Ducks.) I have a gift for placing faces, what can I say. My brother also has a similar gift (and a similarly small penis) and pointed out that Edmonton's new goaltender looks exactly like Evgeni Malkin: Also, and this is completely unrelated, but what the hell is Twilight ? I went and saw Role Models this weekend and they had a trailer for this emo vampire movie; I sat there with a confused expression on my face for about 30 seconds and then muttered, "What the fuck is this shit?" Teenagers are retarded.

Los Angeles Kings (3-4) vs. Detroit Red Wings (2009 Stanley Cup Champs) 7:30 PST, FSN West -Jason Labarbera is playing fucking again today. I actually like it because I wanted him to get a chance to prove himself but give Eric Ersberg a chance, huh? Did Ersberg spit on Terry Murray's grave or something? (Because he looks like a corpse, you see.) -Anze isn't looking that great to start the season. That's not bad. I've always found hockey to be cyclical: you feel great for a month, then you notice a little hitch that bothers you and it throws you off, then it seems like nothing is going right, and then all of a sudden you're fine again. The important part is that Kopitar is still being productive even though he's struggling. Both him and Frolov look like they're pressing a little bit, probably because they expected to be the leaders of this team, but they'll be fine. -Detroit is a shithole. Prediction: Kings win, 4-1, with dominant puck possess...